


Eternal Lie

by seerstella



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Case Fic, Cold Case - Freeform, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gaslighting, M/M, References to Depression, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29678421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seerstella/pseuds/seerstella
Summary: The town of Iwatobi buried their 19-year-old sweetheart.Thirteen years later, it buries another and Sousuke Yamazaki suspects they may be connected.
Relationships: Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei, Matsuoka Gou/Mikoshiba Seijuurou, Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. you had the blue note sapphire eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fandom except the OCs and the story below.
> 
> Rating: R
> 
> Warnings: Character death, slash, OCs, possible OOCness
> 
> A/N: Written in Cold Case style, but unlike my Takumi-kun crossovers (posted on FFN), this is a pure Free fic, with a certain character as the cop. I actually have had this in mind since April 2018, but just started to do it now.  
> All songs are taken from Poets of the Fall’s 2012 album _Temple of Thought_. Title’s based on one of the songs, and the chapter titles are lyrics from _Cradled in Love_. Anyways, enjoy! ^_^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all started with two childhood friends.

** (Opening Song: ‘Running Out of Time’ by Poets of the Fall) **

“Haru-chan! Haru-chan!”

Haruka Nanase rose from the bathtub, grunting. “Drop the -chan, Makoto,” he grumbled, more likely out of habit because he knew it was futile.

“C’mon, Haru-chan! We’re going to be late!” Makoto Tachibana, his friend since forever, half-yelled. “And please don’t cook today, we don’t have much time!”

“I do what I want.”

“Haru!” Makoto whined, but then lifted his hand. “Look! Mom made lunches for us at school, so please get going, Haru-chan! _Please_?”

“Whatever.” Despite his evident hesitation, Haruka stepped out from the bathtub and went to his bedroom. Within five minutes, he reappeared in front of Makoto, wearing his school uniform. He looked irritated that he couldn’t cook his own mackerel, but a glance at the two bentos his best friend was holding changed his mind. He took one of them, the one wrapped in blue cloth, and went towards the door. “Let’s go, Makoto.”

Makoto brightened. “Yeah! Ah, Haru! Wait up!”

They were walking next to the sea as usual, with Makoto filling in the silence occasionally. But at some point he stopped. Haru didn’t mind, because keeping up with his chattering needed effort that he was reluctant to give.

But then Makoto also stopped walking.

Haru didn’t realize it until he was a few steps ahead. He turned and saw his best friend standing there with an unrecognizable expression on his face, staring right at him. It made him frown in confusion. Reading Makoto, and vice versa, was something both of them excelled at.

“Makoto?”

It was enough to snap the taller boy from his daze. “Ah, nothing! Sorry! Sorry! I’m just a bit tired.”

“Aren’t you the one who told me to hurry up?” Haru asked, huffing.

Makoto laughed nervously and took several steps to stand next to Haru. “Yes, yes, sorry, Haru-chan!”

“Drop the -chan.”

They continued walking. Makoto resumed his monologue and didn’t stop until they arrived at school.

* * *

The cliff was quiet. No rain, no storm. Nothing. Not tonight.

Only the sounds from the sea crashing against the rocks were the only source of voice. Iwatobi was a small town near the sea, and the chance to find someone out from their houses at this time of day was close to zero. There were only a few cars passing by the street right above it, quick and uncaring.

But today was different.

On the bottom of the cliff, held back by rocks so it couldn’t float freely to the sea, was a body of a teenage boy. His head was bleeding and his eyes were closed. Yet, there was a small smile on his face. He looked strangely peaceful.

A week later, a teenage girl’s ball slipped from her hand and fell to the cliff as she walked on the small sidewalk next to the street. She grabbed the railing, looked down to see where her ball was going, and called the police.

She didn’t get her ball back, but the town’s sweetheart was finally found after a massive search was conducted. The death broke the whole neighborhood. Police investigation was done and concluded the death as suicide.

Makoto Tachibana, nineteen years old, killed himself by jumping off the cliff in an isolated area not far from his place of residence.

* * *

_ Thirteen Years Later _

_This should have been a quiet morning_ , Detective Sousuke Yamazaki thought to himself, rubbing his tired eyes as he walked into the familiar beach of Iwatobi. _But I guess I cannot have everything._ “What’s going on here?”

“We just found a body, sir,” Aoki, a rookie cop, replied as he brought Sousuke towards the crowd. He sounded nauseous and Sousuke couldn’t blame him. It was a rare occurrence that a dead body would be found in such a small, quiet town. They spotted the small group of police officers and paramedics. “A fisherman on his way to work reported it two hours ago.”

“Cause of death?”

“Drowning, most probably. His body was swept ashore, and they said he’s been dead for at least a day. But, uh…”

Sousuke stopped walking and stared hard at his subordinate. “What?”

“We found his bag, and there’s only this letter inside.” Aoki handed him a piece of paper, put securely inside the clear evidence bag. “I think you’d like to read it.”

Taking it, Sousuke skimmed through the words. It was short and the handwriting was strangely familiar.

_Makoto died because of me. I killed him and it took me thirteen years to understand that._

_Tell his family I’m sorry._ _I love him._

_Please don’t tell anyone about my passing, especially Rin. He’s still competing._

Almost right after he finished reading, Sousuke threw the letter back to Aoki and rushed forward. As he tried to get through the crowd, he could hear words like ‘male, thirty-two years old’ ringing in his ears. He knew exactly why they could find out the deceased’s age really well, and why they were in the same age.

Still, what he finally saw made his breath caught.

In the middle of the crowd, inside an open black cadaver bag, laid no other than Haruka Nanase, an ex-gold medalist swimmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There goes the Prologue! Do you like it?  
> Sousuke is a sergeant, just like Takagi in the Japanese Cold Case.  
> He also no longer wears police uniform like in Future Fish. Gold Evolution!Sou is more likely as his outfit reference, maybe with no handkerchief in his chest pocket :D  
> Reviews are much appreciated! ^^


	2. take my soul off to faraway places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What made him so… peaceful?_ Sousuke wonders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some descriptions of gore (corpse). I don’t think it’s very explicit, but still, please read with caution.

_There’s no way Nanase killed Tachibana._

That thought was enough to send Sousuke to the archives, or a room filled with cabinets and folders of cases that happened in the town. Even though Iwatobi was small and cases were equally minimal, the archive room was actually pretty big. When Sousuke finally found Tachibana’s old folder, he settled on the only desk in the room, installed for the officers who wanted to study cases.

Opening the folder was like opening a can of worms. It brought memories for Sousuke, back to their high school days. He wasn’t remotely close to Tachibana, but Rin was and even though Sousuke had a beef with Nanase—who he’d never really liked—he had nothing against the tall boy. Hell, even Rin never badmouthed the guy when they were still at odds with each other. _A literal angel_ , he’d said in Tachibana’s funeral, between all the snot and tears that soiled Sousuke’s suit as he cried in his embrace.

Sousuke continued opening the folder and examined the contents. He saw the pictures of Tachibana’s bloated, bloody corpse, both on the bottom of the cliff and in the cold morgue. Since he’d been dead for a week before he was found, plus the fact that sometimes a little amount of seawater hit his body, his condition wasn’t ideal to begin with.

Yet, there was a small smile on his lips.

The smile made Sousuke wonder. _Why’s he smiling like that? What made him so… peaceful?_

Not wanting to stare at the photos any longer, he turned to the files. There were some testimonies, spoken by Tachibana’s friends and families, giving more insight about the teen and his condition up to the day of his demise. According to his parents and homeroom teacher, he’d been depressed because of the university entrance test, and everything just went south from there.

_Well, that explained the suicide part._

Sousuke continued reading. He recognized the names of the remaining Iwatobi swim club members, with Nagisa Hazuki claiming to be the last Iwatobi High School student who talked to Tachibana, a few hours before he was found dead. He stopped when a thought hit him.

_Where was Nanase?_

* * *

The zoo wasn’t crowded when Sousuke came after work hours. Plus, it was a weekday; there weren’t many visitors to begin with. It took him longer than necessary; despite the fact that Rin had forced him to learn to use digital maps, Sousuke sometimes found himself in a wrong road here or different stop there. This was one of the cases, which made him fifteen minutes late from his original prediction.

“I’m sorry, but we just closed. We’ll be open tomorrow—”

Sousuke flashed his badge, silencing the receptionist. He didn’t want to be stopped just because of closing hours. “Yamazaki from the PD. Can I see Nagisa Hazuki?”

“Hazuki-san? He’s at the back, sir. The penguins section, most probably. Turn right on the path over there and follow the direction.”

“Thank you.”

“Yamazaki-san, that’s the left.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Thanks to the clear directions afterwards—Sousuke swore he could hear Rin snickering—he found the section he was looking for rather quickly. The penguins were chilling in their icy area, with some of them swimming happily. On one of the stones put on the corner, sat a blond man, watching the animals with equal happiness.

Sousuke knew full well who that was, even though they hadn’t met for years. “Hazuki-san?”

The man looked up, and for a flash, he looked just like when Sousuke remembered him: a petit blond boy with bright magenta eyes and unlimited energy. Judging the way his mouth opened and his expression brightened with recognition showed Sousuke that he hadn’t changed at all. Even his wavy hair didn’t change much, only shorter under that white hat of _Iwatobi Zoo and Aquatic Center_.

“No way! It’s Sou-chan! _Sou-chan!_ ” He looked at the penguins nearby. “Look, everyone! It’s my old friend Sou-chan!”

Yes, he surely didn’t change at all.

* * *

After graduating high school, Hazuki moved out to study marine biology in a university in Tokyo. Both the subject and the destination shocked almost everyone, but apparently he did just fine. With said bachelor degree, he finally moved back home to work at the nearest zoo, wanting to do something he loved and contributing to the community he grew up in.

Now Sousuke found himself on the bleachers, where people usually sat on to watch the penguins performing. After around twenty minutes of waiting, Hazuki sat next to him, having taken a bath and changed to dispel the smell of fish and animals from him. He looked as cheerful as ever, which was comforting.

“Hazuki-san—”

“Shut it, Sou-chan. We know each other. Don’t act as if I didn’t want to beat Samezuka’s ass back in high school, when I still wanted to swim. I’m Nagisa.”

“ _Hazuki_ , then.” Sousuke’s tone was final, and Hazuki leaned against his seat, pouting. “Wait. You don’t swim anymore?”

“It’s not like I can come to my old school every time and I don’t really have time to go to the swim club. You know…” he gestured to the penguins’ area. “Work.”

Sousuke nodded in understanding. “Speaking about work… I actually came here for that.”

“I knew it. Otherwise, why would you come after we’re closed? What’s going on, Sou-chan?”

“It’s about Tachibana.”

Hazuki’s expression darkened instantly. Sousuke just wished he wouldn’t cry anytime soon. “Mako-chan? What’s with Mako-chan?”

“You said you were the last one who saw him before he disappeared, and that he was depressed.”

“Uh-huh.”

“In the reports, it’s said that he was depressed because he failed university entrance test.”

“Uh-huh. He had to take a gap year because of it. It’s so sad… watching him like that.”

“I noticed something strange, Hazuki. Where was Nanase?”

Hazuki flinched at the name. “You might not remember, but Haru-chan was with Rin-chan when Mako-chan died.”

Understanding dawned on Sousuke as another detail came into mind. “I see. He also didn’t attend the funeral.”

“Rin-chan did it for both of them. He said Haru-chan was preparing for a competition or something. I don’t remember.”

“And not attending his best friend’s funeral? Even Rin flew here for that.”

A long silence followed. “Well, Sou-chan,” Hazuki finally spoke. “They weren’t friends anymore at that time. They sort of drifted apart after Haru-chan left for Australia.”

“You were okay with that?”

“Of course not.” Hazuki rolled his eyes. “But both of them were just so stubborn, Sou-chan! Rei-chan and I could only cheer Mako-chan whenever we could.”

* * *

** (Song: ‘Kamikaze Love’ by Poets of the Fall) **

_“Mako-chan, please! You cannot just hole up in your room like this!”_

_“Nagisa-kun is right, Makoto-senpai,” Rei-chan added from the floor he was sitting on. “Haruka-senpai wouldn’t want to see you like this either.”_

_“Hush, don’t tell Haru-chan about this,” Nagisa said. “Mako-chan hates bothering him and Haru-chan doesn’t reply much anyway!”_

_At the mention of Haru-chan, Mako-chan sat up on his bed slowly from under his thick blanket, as if wanting to add to the conversation. Nagisa wanted to hug him so badly, but he just looked so… sickly looking. His face was really pale and it was obvious that he’d lost weight, but not in a healthy way._

_“I’m sure there’ll be other universities that’ll take you in, Mako-chan!” Nagisa exclaimed happily, settling on a loose embrace. He bounced on the bed a bit, trying to make some movement that would add some excitement. “You’re smart. You will do just fine!”_

_“Thanks, guys.” Mako-chan managed a smile. “It’s just… I’m so tired all the time.” He sighed. “But you’re right. I shouldn’t be like this. Haru would hate to see me like this, too.”_

_“THAT’S THE SPIRIT!”_

_“Nagisa-kun!” Rei-chan protested. “Keep it down a bit, will you? You’ll bother Makoto-senpai’s family.”_

_Not so regretfully, Nagisa grinned and scratched his hair. “Oops! Sorry, Rei-chan. Anyway, Mako-chan, do you want to go somewhere with us today? It’s very beautiful outside.”_

_“Now that you mentioned it, I actually want to go to the library.”_

_“I thought you’re taking a gap year, Makoto-senpai?”_

_“Yes, but I just don’t want to forget anything once the tests start again.”_

_“That’s a good idea! A repeatedly trained brain is the key to success! I will surely help you in that!” Nagisa elbowed Rei-chan before he could babble more motivational speeches. “It hurts! Stop that, Nagisa-kun!”_

_Nagisa ignored him. “What’s your intended major, Mako-chan?”_

_“I’m thinking Sports Education, Nagisa. I like teaching.”_

_Something dawned on the bespectacled boy. “Hey, I have a good idea. Makoto-senpai, my brother actually is in a study club. I think there’s a Sports-Ed student there. Do you want me to ask him in case you want to join them?”_

_“Eh?” Mako-chan was flustered now. “But I’m just a high-schooler—”_

_“Totally not a problem!” Rei-chan was now just as excited as Nagisa had been, which made the latter pout in mock-annoyance. Nagisa was actually happy to see his friends full of energy. “I sometimes join them and I’m younger than you! I’m sure they can help you in things!”_

_Mako-chan smiled. “I’d appreciate it very much, Rei. Thanks.”_

_“Great!” Nagisa intervened before the conversation turned full-blown academic. “Can we go play somewhere now? Or swim?”_

_“Nagisa-kun, you haven’t done your homework.”_

_“Nooo!”_

* * *

“Why didn’t Nanase replied any of his messages?”

“Haru-chan’s like that, Sou-chan,” Hazuki replied. Sousuke noticed that he looked annoyed and wondered why. “He never uses his phone. Sometimes Mako-chan had to contact Rin-chan just to reach him. But basically Mako-chan just didn’t want to bother Haru-chan a lot. He needed to concentrate.”

“Yes, Rin once told me that.” Sousuke thought about it a while. “What about the study group? It wasn’t mentioned in the files.”

“I don’t know much about it. Rei-chan did everything about that one.”

“I see.”

“Hey, Sou-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Why asking about Mako-chan now?” Hazuki’s magenta eyes stared deeply at him. “Is everything okay?”

“Listen. Nobody knows about this yet, because… he specifically requests not to tell anyone about it. But I think you deserve to know, as long as you don’t tell anyone else. Do I have your word, Hazuki?”

“I swear!”

“Especially Rin.”

“Huh? Rin-chan?”

“Yes. Do I have your word?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hazuki looked like he was going to explode from curiosity. “What is it, Sou-chan?”

Sousuke sighed before dropping the bomb. “We just found Nanase’s body on the beach this morning.”

The effect was immediate. As Hazuki cried on Sousuke’s lap for a long time, the police sergeant could do nothing but stare at the happy penguins swimming and paddling in their low glass cage with no care of the world outside their artificial pool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our penguin boy is here! He’s so hard to write, ugh. It’s been years since I last wrote him.  
> Tbh I headcanon him to look more like his dad as he gets older. I always love thinking about him as a penguin researcher/caretaker.  
> Reviews are much appreciated. ^^


	3. i'll never be alone 'cause you're right there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “To be honest… I think that’s the major reason of his depression.”

Finding Rei Ryugazaki, one of the youngest professors in Seshika Kyoritsu University, was harder, with less clear directions. Poor Sousuke had to ask a dozen students and almost got into the wrong classroom twice. Still, almost everyone, especially those in the Chemistry department, knew who he was. Not everyone could be an established professor at the age of twenty-six, after all.

Ryugazaki just finished one of his lectures when Sousuke finally found him. One of the students stayed to help him with the papers. She was a petite young woman with shoulder length brown hair and a sparkly blue butterfly hairclip on one of her temples.

“Thanks, Sato-san,” Sousuke heard him saying, and turned at the door. Their eyes met. “Yamazaki-san!”

The way Ryugazaki said his name made him chuckle. He was as formal as Sousuke remembered, down to the way he dressed, but he certainly had the same awkwardness he showed back when he was still the captain of Iwatobi High School’s swim club. That was proved right when he suddenly flustered for no reason.

“Hey there, Ryugazaki.”

Ryugazaki hurriedly made his way over, fixing his already neat shirt and glasses for nothing. He was still wearing his red framed thick specs, which sent Sousuke into nostalgia. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I need to talk to you privately. Is that possible?”

“Well, it’s my last class for today.” He smiled, for some reason looking grateful. “So, yes. Do you mind waiting for a minute?”

“Sure.”

After finishing his business with the student, telling her that his schedule was full for today, Ryugazaki brought him to his office. It was slightly smaller than the archive room, but much tidier and brighter. Books filled every single part of the shelves on the walls. As expected from such a prodigy.

When both of them were settled, Sousuke decided to start. “I’m here to talk about Tachibana.”

“Makoto-senpai?”

“I’ve talked to Hazuki. He mentioned something about you suggesting Tachibana to join a study club?”

“Yes, I did. Makoto-senpai failed his university entrance test, so he decided to take a gap year. I asked him to join the study club so he could keep up until the following year. But…” he trailed off, sadness taking over his expression.

“But he died before he could retake them,” Sousuke finished.

Ryugazaki nodded, unable to speak.

“That wasn’t in his case report.”

“Makoto-senpai no longer attended it when he died. Maybe that’s why.”

“Why did he stop?”

“I don’t know. Since my brother graduated not long after, I stopped coming too.”

“I see. What kind of study club is this?”

“It wasn’t official to begin with. Just some students from different colleges studying together and having fun. My brother was a member and I occasionally joined him in study sessions. One of them was in the same major as the one Makoto-senpai wanted to go, so I tried to get them to meet.”

“Did they?”

“Yes. They actually got along really well.” Ryugazaki sighed. “What do you expect from someone like Makoto-senpai, anyway?”

“Indeed. What do you know about this guy?”

“His name is Takeshi Nakayama. I think he takes over the swim club after Goro-san retires. Should’ve been Nagisa-kun, but he declined.”

“Really? _That_ swim club?”

“Yes.”

“I see. So, he was close to Tachibana. Was there anything else you noticed about him? Maybe something… related to Nanase?”

“Don’t think so. They didn’t tell me anything.” But Ryugazaki leaned against his seat and thought about it for a while. “Uh, I… I actually know why they drifted apart. Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai.”

Sousuke was taken aback. “You do?”

“Yes. Makoto-senpai didn’t tell Nagisa-kun because he didn’t want anyone else to know, so he decided to tell me. He… he was a wreck, Yamazaki-san. To be honest… I think that’s the major reason of his depression.”

* * *

_“Makoto-senpai, how was your study session with Nakayama-san?”_

_Makoto-senpai turned at Rei, smiling. His face was illuminated by the street lamps. They were walking towards the train station, because Rei wanted to see his senior off before going home himself. At first, he wanted to accompany him home, because it was pretty far—just like Rei’s commute to school, only on the other way around—and it was late, but Makoto-senpai insisted he would be just fine._

_“It was wonderful. Thanks for introducing us, Rei.”_

_Rei cleared his throat nervously. “You know, I’m glad you took my offer. It’s not beautiful to see you sad, Makoto-senpai.”_

_Makoto-senpai laughed quietly. “Sorry for making you guys worry. I’ll try to be better in the future.”_

_“Have you told Haruka-senpai about this?”_

_Silence. “Well… not yet.”_

_“Should I? You need every encouragement you can get, Makoto-senpai! Or maybe I can ask Nagisa-kun to tell him once he gets through—”_

_“_ Rei! _”_

_It stopped Rei’s words. “Sorry, Makoto-senpai.”_

_“No. It’s fine. Sorry for lashing out. But I will tell him myself.”_

_“But, Makoto-senpai, you didn’t even_ ask _for Haruka-senpai when we talked to Rin-san.” Rei didn’t mean to pry, but he realized that there was something_ really _wrong with his former teammate. He was sure Nagisa-kun sensed the same. “Did you… did you two fight?” Imagining those inseparable friends fighting was scary for Rei, but he didn’t have any more hypotheses in his head right now._

_Makoto-senpai was silent for a long time. “Can you please keep this from Nagisa-kun? I’m afraid he’ll tell Haru right away if he knows.”_

_“Well… okay. I can keep a secret.”_

_“We did fight, Rei. Remember Haru’s blank phase?” After Rei nodded, he elaborated. “Just right after graduation, I pushed him too hard and he snapped at me. So I told him I’m going to Tokyo and asked Rin to take him to Australia so he could rethink his decision.” He let out a sad laugh. “It works. At least he’s living his dream now. I’m glad.”_

_Rei was stunned. “Makoto-senpai, you never want to go to Tokyo. I’ve seen your college applications.”_

_No answer. When Makoto-senpai finally smiled at Rei, he just looked so…_ sad _. “Keep this from Nagisa-kun? Please?”_

* * *

“So, Tachibana deliberately lied to Nanase to push him away? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Weird, right? If Makoto-senpai wasn’t the one who told me himself, I’d never believe it, too.”

“Why would he do that? And what’s a blank phase?”

“Nagisa-kun came up with that term. Haruka-senpai didn’t want to do anything about his future before Rin-san took him to Australia. I think he never returned since then, and you know how many medals he’d won.” Ryugazaki repositioned his glasses. “My theory says that Makoto-senpai pushed him away so he could be independent. Or, if one wants to be more extreme, _both_ of them could be independent.”

 _They did,_ Sousuke thought bitterly. _They were alone when they died, so there’s that._

“Sadly enough, it happened to them. Alone. Even in death.”

Sousuke took a second to understand, and at first he thought he had accidentally spoken his mind out loud. “What?”

Ryugazaki smiled thinly and that was when Sousuke realized that his violet eyes were glassy. “I live with Nagisa-kun, Yamazaki-san. There was no way he wouldn’t tell me about Haruka-senpai, especially when he came home crying so hard yesterday.”

 _Damn Hazuki._ “Please don’t tell anyone else. This far, only his parents and the police know about his death. Just keep it down for a while, Ryugazaki.”

“Nagisa-kun did promise not to tell anyone else but me. Still. Why?”

“Nanase asked for it in his suicide note. He specifically told us not to let Rin know because his team is competing. I guess he just wanted Rin to concentrate.”

Ryugazaki sobbed. He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. “So selfless.”

“Like Tachibana.” Sousuke voiced his unsaid remark.

“Yes. Just like him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Rei-chan is here! He's my fav boi.  
> (Ian Sinclair's 'Ryugazaki' in the OVA dub is also fav thank you sir XD)
> 
> Seshika Kyoritsu University (might be referred as SeKyo sometimes) is actually Sousuke’s university in canon. But since he’s a cop here, he decided to enroll in the police academy instead after graduating from Samezuka.
> 
> MH Firework Fight Scene is put right after their graduation instead of in the middle of their school year. Bear with me please :’)
> 
> Do you like it? Reviews are much appreciated! ^^


	4. like sailing to the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No buts. You don’t play with solved cases.”

Sousuke no longer swam after high school graduation. Despite the surgery, he wasn’t able to compete without the risk of wrecking his shoulder once again, so he decided to retire completely and tried something different. It took years, but it was now safe to say that he was finally able to make peace with his past. Swimming was still a touchy subject for him, but now he was able to talk about it as long as his past accomplishments weren’t mentioned.

So, when he arrived at Iwatobi SC Returns, he was surprised to see that it barely changed. It brought him so many memories, despite the fact that he was never a member. The only major change was the photos of the members on the wall, which includes the old Iwatobi boys and even some newspaper clippings of Nanase and Rin’s victories in the Olympics.

Not wanting to dwell for too long, Sousuke decided to get this over with. Luckily, Takeshi Nakayama was on his break, so they decided to talk in his office. He was a friendly man, as tall as Sousuke, which was a rare occurrence. Save for his black hair and eyes, he actually reminded Sousuke of Tachibana himself.

“Do you remember Makoto Tachibana?”

“Yes. He was a member of this swim club when he was a kid.”

“That’s not what I mean. He was your friend in the study club, right?”

“What study club?” Before Sousuke could elaborate, his face brightened. “Oh, yeah. Yeah! I remember now. He was a high school kid who wanted to take the same major as me. I think Atsushi’s little brother introduced us. Rei, I think?”

Sousuke nodded. “What do you remember about him?”

“Great kid. Very gentle, very nice.” Nakayama sighed. “He actually wanted to teach here because he loved kids.”

“How long did Tachibana attend the study club?”

“Not too long, as far as I can remember. Since we were the only ones related to Sports Education, we decided to do private study sessions. I basically taught him some of my first classes and the old subjects he might need for the entrance test. We became pretty close and he was pretty comfortable to tell me about things, including his best friend.”

“Haruka Nanase? You know him?”

“Who doesn’t? He’s such an amazing swimmer. When Makoto started to talk about him, he just couldn’t stop. Sometimes he even cried and broke down.”

It interested Sousuke. “So he told you about how they were separated?”

“Yes. And that was terrible.”

* * *

_“Makoto, I think you need to see someone. You know, get help or something.”_

_The boy just wiped his eyes. He stared guiltily at the tears that had dropped to Takeshi’s table before him. “Why? I can handle this.”_

_“No, you cannot.” Takeshi tried so hard to hold the urge of shaking him, just to_ wake _him up. “Please? I just want you to get better.”_

_“Sorry for bothering you like this.”_

_“No, that doesn’t matter!” Takeshi made his way around the table to sit next to him. Study sessions could be forgotten for a while. “It’s the third time you cried this week. Please?”_

_Makoto finally nodded. Takeshi felt his heart soar. Finally! Progress!_

_“Listen, Makoto. I know someone. I’m sure she can help you! I can contact her and ask whether she’s available.”_

_“Right now?”_

_“Right now. You need help.”_

_“You don’t need to do it for me!”_

_“Too late!” Takeshi teased, dialing a number on his phone. “I’m doing it!”_

_A few hours later, they found themselves in the hallway, outside Yuka Eguchi’s room. “Don’t worry, Makoto. She’s very nice, and if you don’t like her, you can just tell me and we’ll find another way, okay?”_

_Makoto took a deep breath. “Okay.”_

* * *

“Yuka Eguchi?” Sousuke had heard of that name, which surprised him at first. “You brought Tachibana to a shrink?”

“Eguchi-sensei is one of the professors in the SeKyo. She is a licensed psychologist and actually my aunt, so I know she could be trusted.” Nakayama sighed. “I just thought Makoto needed help. Those breakdowns have to stop.”

“How many sessions did he get with her?”

“I don’t know. He did seem better, though. But we kind of lose contact after he went to her because I got busy with classes. I just hope he stopped pining over Nanase, though, it ruined his life.”

“Since you know about Nanase, have you ever met him in person?”

The older man shook his head. “Unfortunately, I haven’t. I would love to, though. He can make a good example for young swimmers from this place.”

“One more thing. Where were you when he died?”

“You mean Tachibana?” For some reason, he looked surprised.

“Of course,” Sousuke replied quickly.

“Ah. Sorry.” Nakayama frowned. “I don’t remember, honestly. It was a long time ago. Maybe I was with Eguchi-sensei, but I’m not sure. There was a cultural festival that day if I’m not wrong. Probably I was busy with that.”

Sousuke nodded and stood. “Well, if you remember something else, just ask for Yamazaki in the PD.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks for your time.”

* * *

“Yamazaki, come with me for a second.”

It was weird to see the oldest Mikoshiba siblings with a cheap suit of a cop, but his expression was so grim Sousuke failed to be amused by the former fact. He merely stood from his desk and followed him to one of the empty interview rooms.

“Sit down.”

Sousuke obliged. He watched as his superordinate walking around the table, obviously struggling to start the topic. Eventually, he settled on some news. “Nanase’s parents just contacted Chief. They want to hold a private funeral for their son this Friday, and then they’ll have a press conference to publicly announce his death.”

“I see.”

“Do you want to attend it?”

“Well, someone has to represent Rin, right?” _And Nanase’s other friends. Wonder if I can sneak Hazuki and Ryugazaki somewhere…_

Mikoshiba looked pained. “Speaking of Matsuoka, he’ll kill us when he knows we don’t tell him anything.”

Sousuke shrugged, trying to ignore the pang in his heart. “We have to honor Nanase’s death wish.”

“That, and his parents don’t want media to interfere with their mourning. Not until they’re ready. I’m sure his death would’ve been on headlines everywhere if we’re not keeping things shut about it.” He paused. “Well, there’s something else I want to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

“I heard from the rookies you’re reopening Tachibana’s case.”

There was no other choice but to tell the truth. “Yes, Cap.”

A sigh. “Why?”

“I think his death might be connected to Nanase’s.”

“As much as I hate saying this, Tachibana’s case is closed. He was a depressed kid who killed himself because he failed to get to the university he wanted. It wasn’t uncommon, sadly.” He was lost in nostalgia for a while. “Such a nice guy, though, gone too soon.”

“How do you explain Nanase’s note?”

“He might feel guilty, but that’s it. Your boyfriend himself confirmed that he wasn’t in Iwatobi when Tachibana died. He didn’t have anything to do with his suicide case.”

“I just think there’s more to it.”

“Who can prove it to you? Listen, Yamazaki. I know Tachibana and Nanase were your friends and all, but if any of the witnesses you interviewed file any complaint because they think you’re harassing them—just _one_ complaint—I’m sure it’ll get you suspended. So, just stop. Got it?”

Sousuke rose from his seat. “But—”

“No buts. You don’t play with solved cases. You may leave.”

Huffing, Sousuke walked towards the door. “Wait until your wife hears about this.”

For a moment, Mikoshiba looked like he wanted to laugh. “She will have my head if you tell her, whether you’re guilty or not.”

“You know it.” Sousuke couldn’t help but smile himself.

Mikoshiba grinned but then he was serious again. “But I mean it, Yamazaki. Just don’t go out asking people about past cases. It’s not going to help anybody. We have expiration dates for a reason.”

“Tachibana’s death was thirteen years ago. Nanase’s recent. I still have at least two years.”

“I know. But nobody will like it, Yamazaki. Nobody likes being reminded of past cases that have been closed. Plus, we don’t want Gou-kun’s unofficial older brother suspended, do we?”

Sousuke didn’t reply anymore. He merely nodded and left the room.

_We shall see, Captain. We shall see._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I ship SeiGou ;)
> 
> Atsushi as Rei’s older brother’s name comes from me. I don’t remember him having a name yet, so here you go. It’s taken from Atsushi Kisaichi, Nagahisa Aikawa’s seiyuu from Warui Koto Shitai Series. My fav <3
> 
> Sousuke calls Sei ‘Captain’, like the team captain Ishikawa in the Japanese Cold Case.
> 
> Statute of limitation in Japan is 15-30 years. I write this a bit like a CC episode, so feel free to check those out.
> 
> Do you like it? Reviews are much appreciated! ^^


	5. we took a gamble with this love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Love can be destructive, Yamazaki-san. You should remember that.”

“So, how was your day?” Sousuke asked the screen.

 _“Wonderful!”_ Rin’s voice was clear from the lower side of the world. He looked great, as usual. After retiring as an athlete two years prior, he started coaching an Australian junior swim team, with impressive results. _“You should see Wally’s time today! His freestyle is great. Not as amazing as Haru’s, but don’t tell him, okay? Kid’s improving and if he keeps it up, he’ll be able to strike for gold next month.”_

“No worries. Your secret is safe with me.” Sousuke gestured zipping his mouth, making Rin laugh. It wasn’t like he wanted to talk about swimming with people who weren’t Rin Matsuoka to begin with. Plus, the mention of Haru was enough setup for his intended topic for the night. “How’s Nanase, by the way?”

_“Hey, hey, it’s not every day you ask about Haru. What’s in it for you?”_

“Just… just curious.”

Rin needed more than that to be convinced. _“You’re never curious about Haru since we moved in together years ago.”_

It was indeed suspicious. As much as he hated to admit it, Rin was brighter than him. “Well, you usually tell me about him whether I asked or not,” Sousuke rebutted, forcing a smile. “What’s going on? Did you two fight?”

_“You know how things go between me and Haru.”_

“You didn’t answer the question, Rin.”

 _“Ouch! Sorting to interrogation, now? Please don’t arrest me, Sergeant!”_ Sousuke smiled at the remark but held his ground. Rin could see that, too, for he relented. _“Well, actually… I kicked him out.”_

“What?” It was genuinely surprising.

_“He started acting weird, so I kicked him out until he’s making sense again. I don’t mind if he’s freeloading or anything, but he didn’t even come out from his room. Even for Haru, that was concerning. What else should I do?”_

* * *

_“So, what now, Haru?”_

_“Leave me alone.”_

_“Haru, you haven’t eaten for almost two days. What the hell is going on here?”_

_Haru wasn’t a messy person, but seeing the state of his room now was surely debunking that fact. Rin’s clean freak nature rebelled at the sight. Papers were everywhere, also books and clothes. Even Haru in his drawing mode was never_ this _atrocious._

_“Nothing.”_

_Rin sighed. “You know, Haru, I think you shouldn’t stay here for a while.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Yes. Maybe clear your head or something. You haven’t even stepped out of your room for days!”_

_“So what?!” Haru suddenly jumped to his feet. “Leave me alone!”_

_“What the hell?” Rin was surprised, but anger took over. He did try not to mention the fact that Haru was a freeloader since he wasn’t even doing_ anything _since he retired three years ago. He did pay for his share of the apartment, but that was it. “This is my house! I’m just trying to help you!”_

_“Well, you’re not helping anything!”_

_It was enough. “Out! Get out!”_

_Haru glared at him, his blue eyes looking clear yet so tired with the bags under them. He passed Rin and slammed the door behind him._

* * *

_“He returned on the next morning, took his bag, and left. Just like that.”_

“Did he say where he was going?”

Rin shook his head. _“He never does, so I’m not worried. He knows the way back. Unlike a certain someone.”_

The last sentence was a clear mockery, but Sousuke missed it due to his concentration on the case. “What did he read? Or whatever those papers were about. Do you have any idea?”

_“Not really. I think it’s about meds. Project Mind or something. Most of those papers were old newspaper articles, though.”_

“Project Mind?”

_“Never heard of it myself. To be honest, I’d never seen him being interested in such a thing.”_

“Did he… contact you after he left?”

Rin burst into laughter, but it sounded rather sad. _“Haru? Contacting me? Sousuke, he never even contacted Makoto for years when he’s here, you expect him to contact me after going off for a week?”_

Sousuke nodded. “You have a point. Hey, can I see any Project Mind you just told me about? Did Nanase leave any of it in his room?”

_“I don’t pry over Haru’s things, Sou.”_

“Please? Just this once?”

_“Promise me first. Do something for me.”_

Seeing the wicked grin on his boyfriend’s lips made Sousuke groan. “What?”

 _“Swim with me when I get back?”_ Before Sousuke could reply, Rin continued. _“Not racing! Just swimming. Leisurely. Or whatever. Please?”_

“Rin, you know I don’t swim anymore.”

_“Please? Or you won’t get any of Haru’s files!”_

Sousuke smiled. It was hard not to while looking at Rin’s cute expression, to be honest. He tried so hard to plea and to look tough at the same time, which was typical of him. “Alright, fine. It’s not like you’ll be home soon.”

_“I kinda wish I will so I can wipe that smug grin off your face.”_

Sousuke burst into laughter. “Says someone who calls me his sunshine! Now, do your part.”

 _“Fine, fine! You sure are demanding today, Sou. I’ll be right back.”_ Rin made true of his words, even though it was slightly disappointing. He returned in five minutes, a crumpled brown envelope in his hands. _“Sousuke, uh… unfortunately Haru takes them all with him. But I remember seeing this envelope along with those papers. Will it help?”_

“It depends. Anything you can see on it?”

Rin smoothed and examined the big envelope, grumbling all the way. _“This is from his trashcan. Trashcan! You’re lucky I love you, Yamazaki.”_ But then his expression brightened and he showed something to the camera. _“Here. Can you see it?”_

Sousuke could, but he needed a while to understand Latin alphabets, however neatly they were written. When he did, he leaned against his seat in shock. As if on cue, Rin put the envelope down and eyed his boyfriend with a worried frown on his face. _“Sousuke? Hey, you okay? Sousuke!”_

“Yeah,” Sousuke managed to answer. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just kind of surprised, that’s all. Sorry, uh, Rin, can you put it up again? I need to take a picture of it.”

 _“Sure.”_ Although suspicious, Rin obliged. Sousuke saved the picture of the writing on his computer, making a mental note to ask the writer as soon as he could.

_ To: Mr. Haruka Nanase _

_ Sydney, Australia _

_ From: Mr. Rei Ryugazaki _

_ Chemistry Department, Seshika Kyoritsu University _

_ Iwatobi, Japan _

* * *

Yuka Eguchi was the best psychologist in town, or that was what people were saying. Sousuke never worked with her, but some of his colleagues in the precinct had because she helped in profiling at least twice. She was better known as a Psychology professor and sometimes opened sessions for people who needed her service. Sousuke actually had to make an appointment to interrogate—no, _interview_ —her, much to his chagrin.

“Hello, Yamazaki-san,” she greeted politely. “Please come in. Have you received my email for the session?”

“Yes, I did. Do you always do that?”

“Since I started around twenty years ago,” Eguchi replied. “It’s how I keep track of all my patients. If they’re not in my database, it’s hard to deal with them. Making offline appointments is difficult for me to archive.”

“I see.” Sousuke followed her into her office. Her office was tidy, but unlike Ryugazaki’s, it was bigger and felt much warmer. He sat on the nearest couch and let her sit across from him.

“Tea, Yamazaki-san?”

“No, thanks. I’m fine.”

“Okay, so what do you want to talk about?”

“Can I talk about anything?”

Eguchi smiled. “Of course. I have a code of ethics related to confidentiality, so your secret is safe here. Do not worry.”

 _Great._ “Well, do you remember Makoto Tachibana?”

She blinked, obviously taken aback by the sudden question. “Yes, I think so. Wasn’t he the boy who jumped off the cliff?”

“Yes. I heard he went to you a while before he died, recommended by a fellow SeKyo student Takeshi Nakayama. Your nephew.”

“Wait, wait. You only made an appointment. For a _session_. Not an interrogation.”

“This isn’t an interrogation. I’m just using my time,” Sousuke replied, trying not to sound triumphant. “Just answer, please.”

She glared but had no choice. “Ta-chan wanted him to see me because he has breakdowns. But I’m not sure I can discuss Makoto-kun with you, Yamazaki-san. It’s a breach of medical ethics.”

“He’s _dead_ , Eguchi-sensei,” Sousuke pressed. “He’s been dead for _thirteen years_.”

“There are several things I prefer to take to the grave.” She looked offended. “I assume you don’t know about patients’ confidentiality. If you don’t, I hope you do now.”

“I see.” Sousuke wanted to use more force but decided against it. He knew he couldn’t push too far. “Can you at least tell me how he acted around you or something? I’m sure it’s not a breach of ethics.”

She still looked annoyed but finally answered. “The only times when I see him without sessions was with Ta-chan, so I can tell you about that.”

* * *

_“Eguchi-sensei, Makoto’s having another breakdown.”_

_Ta-chan didn’t need to say it. Yuka could see it clearly from how Makoto-kun sat on her couch, and how hard he was shaking. If Ta-chan wasn’t bigger than him, she couldn’t imagine how he brought him here._

_“Keep him company. I’m making tea.”_

_When Yuka turned back to the two boys, a tray of tea in her hands, she could see Ta-chan reaching out to Makoto-kun, whispering soothing words. She smiled. Ta-chan was indeed a wonderful kid._

_“Makoto, please calm down. Focus on my voice. Take a deep breath. Inhale.” Ta-chan did so himself, and Yuka could hear Makoto-kun obeying as she put down the cups of tea on the table before them. “Now, exhale.”_

_It took him several more minutes to calm him down. Strangely, when Makoto-kun was stable, he began to cry at the sight of the other boy._

_“Makoto-kun?” Yuka called, alarmed that he was crying over another reason entirely. “Are you okay?”_

_Makoto-kun didn’t reply. He only cried silently and refused Ta-chan’s touches. Yuka glanced at him, frowning. Ta-chan didn’t even look at her. He was too busy talking to Makoto-kun with the same tone to notice._

_“Makoto, listen to me. It’s just a small step up your road of healing. You have to face your demons to move on. I helped you in that, right?”_

_“But—”_

_“No, no, Makoto. You need to understand. It’s for your own good.”_

_Makoto-kun just wept, and he sounded worse than earlier._

* * *

“That kid’s messed up. It’s so sad to see him like that.”

“Why didn’t you intervene?” Thinking about Tachibana crying didn’t sit well for Sousuke. “I mean, he was clearly distraught.”

“I wanted to observe how Makoto-kun interacted with people first. If I did, it’d be hard to find the trigger that will make him open up to me.”

“And it wasn’t because Nakayama is your nephew?” Sousuke asked before he could stop himself.

Eguchi glared at him. “If you imply that I prioritize a relative more than a patient’s well-being, you’re gravely mistaken, Yamazaki-san.”

Sousuke decided to backtrack. “Alright, I apologize. What did Nakayama mean with the road of healing?”

Calmer but still obviously annoyed, Eguchi leaned against her chair. “Quite literally. He just wanted to help that boy heal. Sometimes he talked to me about his concerns of that boy.”

“So, they were close?”

“Pretty much. I can see Makoto-kun as a very sensible kid and I understand why Ta-chan likes someone like him.”

“Alright.” Sousuke stood and gave a small nod, wondering why Nakayama didn’t tell him any of these things. “Thanks for your time, Eguchi-sensei.”

“No problem. You see, love can be very destructive.”

The remark stopped Sousuke. “What?” he asked, turning from the door.

“You might want to know _why_ he was like that, to begin with, and that’s all I can tell you.” She stood as well, yet stayed in her place. “Love can be destructive, Yamazaki-san. You should remember that.”

Sousuke regarded her for a second, then nodded and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin calling Sousuke his sunshine is from the Drama CD about them and Kisumi.  
> Reviews are much appreciated! ^^


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